Mr. God's favorite rubber duckie (weirddave) wrote in toddlertime,
Mr. God's favorite rubber duckie

I love being a dad

My son is 4, closing in on 4 1/2 at a frightening speed, and as such he's no longer a toddler, and thus may be outside the boundaries of this community (tonight we were out at a store and he wanted to race me around a table because, as he put it, "I'm 4, and 4 year olds are FAST!"). Too bad, I'm going to tell 2 stories about him.

#1. He has a TV/VCR in his room, which he uses to watch kid's movies. This is a great boon for my wife and I, because even though we don't use TV as a babysitter, he tends to wake up way early in the mornings, and it gives him the ability to put in a tape and gives us a blessed extra hour or so of sleep while he's watching it. Just recently, the VCR part of his TV went on the blink and started eating tapes, so I dug out an old VCR from the basement and hooked it up to the TV. I then showed him how to work it, this is the play button, this is the stop button and he needs to press it twice to eject the tape before putting in another one. He got it pretty quick, and he was a pleased as punch to have his own dedicated VCR. I went away for a few minutes, and when I came back into his room, he was proudly (PROUDLY) demonstrating and teaching my wife how the VCR works. God! Is there anything better as a parent then seeing your young child learn, grow and thrive? I don't think there is.

#2. Earlier today, I was helping Jimmy get dressed. He doesn't really need me to, he can get dressed fine on his own, but he had brought his clothes into our bedroom and I was obliging him. I was sitting on my bed in my underwear, and after getting Jimmy into his shirt I casually reached down and rearranged my penis and balls inside my underwear to a more comfortable position (Men reading this will understand completely, women reading this will have seen this from the men in their lives and will have rolled their eyes at it). Jimmy looked at me and said in a voice as serious as any I've used with my teenager "No daddy, you don't play with your penis, that's something you should only do when you're alone.". I swear that of all the hard things I've ever had to do in my life, keeping my face straight for Jimmy at that moment was amongst the hardest. My wife was behind him, out of Jimmy's line of sight, and she's got her hands clasped over her mouth having absolute silent HYSTERICS at my son's solemn declaration. I looked down at him and said "You're right, thank you for reminding me". He then happily left the room and I looked at my wife, a grin spreading widely over my face and said "Now don't you start".

The hell of it is that I know, I KNOW that the next time I'm trying to get intimate with my wife, she's going to look at me with a sparkle in her eye and say "No, playing with your penis is something you should only do when you're alone.". Damn that kid! :p
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